“The God Who Holds Everything”

Hi everyone!! i found this blog i had written in the beginning of my race. It was my very first week overseas, and I completely forgot to post it. The Lord reminded me of this day and of how his goodness is made known when we choose to walk in simple obedience.

“ Walking through the streets of Phnam Penh, Cambodia on one of our “off” days, I wasn’t expecting to end up crying on the side of the road praying with a woman I had never met, but that’s exactly where God had me today. For context, I had just prayed that morning that God would push me in ways I had never been pushed before, well I’m here to tell you that God answers prayers.
I really felt such a pull towards her when I saw her on the side of the road with her small baby and toddler on a small mat, but I kept walking. As we walked around to the grocery store we were headed to, I was overcome with emotion for her and her children. I really think that was the Holy Spirit looking back because my emotions lead me to meet her. I talked to one of my friends about what I was feeling for her and we decided to buy her something at the store and bring it back to her. With our two bananas, blueberry bagels, and water bottles, we walked back over to her. We stopped to pray before we went over to her and asked God to just take over this time with her and show himself to her through us. We walked over and she smiled as we gave her food, but she couldn’t speak English. She proceeded to point to an empty milk container and then to her small baby who she was feeding with a bottle filled with water. We immediately ran back to the store to get milk. On the way back from the store, I was feeling helpless because of the language barrier and started praying that God would provide someone who could speak both Khmer and English. When we got back to her and her babies, one of her friends had come and spoke both languages. I still don’t know her name, but I could never forget her face.
As I sat down again with the homeless woman and handed her the milk, she handed me her sweet 1 month old baby and motioned for me to feed her. I’ve never felt the way I did when I looked into this baby’s eyes and sung Jesus loves me over him. At first, he seemed confused and unsettled with me, but as I prayed joy and peace over him, he shifted to smiling and looking up at me with so much joy and contentment. I was just in awe of how beautiful this baby was and how much love I had for him. So much love for this baby I had known for 10 seconds. I really think that was a sweet glimpse that Jesus gave me to show me how much he loves these people. He wants them. And he is actively pursuing their hearts.
As I talked more to the young mothers friend, she explained some of the background of this small family and why they were on the streets. We were able to ask if they knew Jesus, and to all of our surprise, they said yes. From more conversation, it was evident that she knew exactly who we were talking about. She talked about Buddha and about how she didn’t believe in Him but that she believed in the God that “holds everything.” She shared that it was illegal for them to read the Bible and about how she cant ask around to see who else believes because it’s too dangerous. We were able to fill in some gaps of the parts of the gospel she had heard and we were able to share with her the ultimate good news, that Jesus not only died but also was raised from the dead.
As we talked more and more to the young mother’s friend, it was evident there was so much hurt in her life. As she started getting vulnerable with us, I was able to sit and cry with her and she talked about her daughter that her ex boyfriend had put up for adoption right after she was born. After many many years, she still has never seen her daughter or has a clue where she is. The hopelessness in her eyes was evident as she told us that all she wants is to see her daughter one time before she dies.
How do you look someone in the face who is broken on the inside and explain that through their hurt and pain, God is still good? How do you explain that God is greater than any pain we can feel as humans. It’s not easy, but its a joy to tell her that there is hope in that God is not limited to our circumstances or emotions.
We were able to yet again remind her of the hope of the gospel and of how extravagant God’s love is for her. We were able to watch as her face lit up with joy as we explained to her that Jesus not only died, but he rose again so that one day we can conquer death. We were able to hold her hands and pray over her daughter, wherever she is, and that one day she will be able to see her in heaven. At the end of this long and sweet conversation, she smiled at us as she spoke of how she “can see more of God” because of us.
Small moments like this remind me of why I am here. Looking in the eyes of that baby, dancing with a toddler on the side of the road, or even simply smiling at people on the street… those moments remind me that I am not here to travel or to try different foods or take cool pictures, I am here to give the love of the Father and the hope of the gospel to those who have never before heard the name of Jesus. They are desperate. Desperate for “the God who holds everything.”